Are you the Action or the Reaction in Reciprocity?

Do you always give with the intention of getting back? Probably not. Yet, when the word reciprocity is mentioned, many people assume that receiving back is the sole intention. After all, Newton's third law of motion states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction ~ hence, the law of reciprocity.

This past year, my daughter studied Newton's third law in school. We learned that a thrust of hot air expelled out of the back of a jet engine produces an equal and opposite reaction, pushing the jet forward. Similarly, when a farmer tends and plants seeds in his field, the field gives back a crop to harvest. So, if the farmer would decide he did not want to give with the intention of getting back, he could sit back and wait for his field to give back first. He may get weeds. Obviously, taking the approach of giving back only after receiving, proves less effective. I challenge you to look at reciprocity in a different, more productive, way.

The key concept for the farmer to be successful involves giving to the field in order to receive a harvest. Similarly, smile at someone, and you will most likely get a smile in return. Express kindness to someone, and they may express kindness in return to you, or they may pay it forward. The advantage of giving first is that your gift then becomes the action that demands an equal and opposite reaction, either paid back to you or paid forward to someone else. The alternative is passivity or only giving in response to what people give to you, making you subject to everyone else's moods and actions. Proactive giving allows you to have control; you can put your giving to work for you. It allows you to be on the action side of the action/reaction law of reciprocity. You then can decide whether you wish to receive a negative or positive reaction. Hit someone and they may hit you back. Have a critical attitude and expect to receive critical judgement from others. Matthew 7:1 (The Message) "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults--unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging". The Bible also says, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.  Give, and it will be given to you." Luke 6:36-38 NASB.

Everyone knows the saying, "Do to others as you would have them do to you". This requires action by you first, and then comes the reaction. It is not done because you selfishly wish something in return; it is done to control the reaction.

Choose with me today to be the first to give positively, making your gift an encouragement and a challenge to others to react positively as well. Be the action not the reaction!


Reference: Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage by Mark Gungor